sweats. hey i used my pirated copy of fl studio for this.
release the slop
freedom to me is... certainly a concept.
y'know. freedom motif, and all that. LOL.
ok, it's a lot more personal than that.
freedom to me is the choices i get to make about myself.
who i am, my name, what i am. a person? a boy? a girl? something completely different?
this might get a little vent-y i fear. i've been going through it. uh. minor warning? i dunno it's mainly me talking about my gender and the internet as my sense of freedom. i do talk about how i get misgendered a lot in my daily life though. :0/
oh. this might not make sense at times. i kinda just funneled out what i thought.
lol, ok. i am a boy. (fuck you wikipedia for that one)
i made that choice a looong time ago. even if i don't look that way, or if people don't acknowledge that. that is part of my freedom. my choice to be who i am.
i've had a rough time throughout the last... 5-6 years? i came out once, twice, thrice? somewhere within those numbers. but like. hm. not once did anyone in my family really try.
a they. a them. here and there. sprinkled around.
but
never
he.
a river. a [REDACTED].
many names i've left behind. but never the one i repeat everywhere.
and sometimes, no matter how much i try, they wont budge.
i've expressed how much i don't like they being used in reference to me. maybe for specific parts and pieces. but never once for the whole that makes up "nexus."
but then the internet comes along.
there's a few bad eggs here and there.
but for the most part.
i can be me.
ok, technically speaking, i am genderqueer. i'm a freak. i'm in your walls. all sorts of other things.
i won't talk about kin culture too much here, but that did also happen to shape a lot of the me you see now. being able to point at a little thang and go "...waow... that's me right there fr..."
maybe it's some sort of weird autism-fueled sense of not properly feeling human. but like. hey. that's me.
without the internet, i would've never had the freedom to experiment with how i see myself.
i'm running out of words to say, but i think you get my point
nexus, 2025.
credits: midi used,